i'm shajing i'm racing i can't stop moving i'm pacing oh god why did i let her kiss me oh my god i should have never talked to her what was i thinking how could i let that happen i can't go on like this i have to call things off it's not fair why can't i stop shaking i can't have another panic attack

that sound won't stop, a thumping within my chest with the consistency of a soldier's marching, every step another mistake, every stomp someone crushed, every thump someone falling

maybe i deserve this, maybe whatever is happening to me is my fault

things were supposed to be different

things were supposed to be better

is it too late to change?

i'm afraid i already ruined everything before it could even start

i'm afraid i'll never be able to live life in a way that i'm content with

oh... forget all these stupid convoluted things

i'll spare you the speech this time

there's a million different ways i could say it

and a million different problems i could isolate

but there's no point in that

when i could say it in one, simple, line

i'm scared