the person in me wants to stop but the artist wants to stay

the persuit of art has lead me to neglect myself, to go against myself for the experience so I could write about it later.

this better all amount to something, I better have some sort of plan

I wanted to use he in the past sentence

I don't see me as myself

I'm not even that comfortable using he/him

I guess I use it to personify the parts of me that I hate