it's been a very confusing few weeks

first off i haven't had any time to write, i've thought about it multiple times but i couldn't being myself to do it

after writing the last line, i didn't return for two days

that's how my writing has been at the moment, so i'm going to do my best to recap the most important points before i am lost again

i may have had another panic attack, i am not entierly sure what it was, and i am too scared of being wrong because i feel as if it's a serious thing and saying that i had one somehow undervalues others who experience these things

i have been extremely paranoid in the past few weeks. at the beginning i was convinced that i had lost all my friends and that i would never be able to talk to them again, but in a extremely confusing change it turns out that no one really cares, and in fact it seems that i may be more popular than the person that i thought was going to alienate me from everyone. it's been a really big boost in my confidence, and maybe one of the greatest things that have happened to me recently

looking back, i've had a lot of instances of complete paranoia, but i hesitate calling it a problem as i am currently able to look back at it and recognize it as such

i've had a lot of moments like that, indications of bigger mental issues that i kind of brush off as i'm not sure if it's important or not